Jul 8th, 2010
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Shamu and LeBron James, When Global Icons Leave Cleveland

LeBron leaving Cleveland?
Last time a global icon left everything went wrong. In 2001, Sea World in Aurora, Ohio closed. Shamu left, and the area of North East Ohio began it’s tailspin into despair.

In 2002 LTV Steel closes and unemployment rose over 10%, Cuyahoga county led the nation in foreclosures per capita for two consecutive years and in 2008 Forbes names Cleveland ‘Most Devastated City in America.’
Which being named the most devastated city for 2008 was quite an accomplishment considering New Orleans had just been wiped out by tropical storm Katrina. The entire town of New Orleans was washed away, people were floating around in the ocean holding onto debris that was once their home and say to each other, “Hey it could be worse, it could be Lake Erie”

The people of Ohio were able to find solace in one thing, the homegrown basketball superstar LeBron James. However if James’s leaves there is fear that the city will be devastated beyond repair.
Cleveland is very dependent on it’s extreme …

Jul 20th, 2007
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Douchebag: The Presentation

The word Douchebag has over saturated our vocabulary, in order to preserve it’s potency you need to be more selective with its usage. Here are different scenarios I’ve examined and determined if the word Douchebag is appropriate or not.

Douchbags

Have to start with this slam-dunk photo of douches. These four dudes form the Mt. Rushmore of Douchebags, with the pencil thin chin strap bearded fella on the end filling the role of Abe Lincoln. I hate judging books by covers, but these four clones force me to. This photo says these guys have no individual thoughts, love fake tans, crotch rockets, and hair glue. Also all four will live in their moms’ basements until they’re forty. Mt. Douchemore.

Not a Douchbag

Not a bad parent, I assume the high chair broke. Notice the parent cares enough to use an entire roll of duct tape, and at $5.99/roll, you’re taping babies to the wall for special occasions only. This tells me something horrendous must have just happened, broken glass, chemical spill, or maybe the baby’s brother suffers from sibling envy and it’s his birthday? …

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